IC INBOX

[swordhardy]

↘ CALLS
↘ TEXTS
↘ MESSAGES

Comments

[pushpin]

& hey
ur a good guy, cool it w/ that

[swordhardy]

You think so?

[pushpin]

yea
u keep promises & think about other people

[swordhardy]

You know what else I am

Even with that, would you call me good?

[pushpin]

[...a shrug of his shoulder, albeit where Rokurou can't see it]

[what even is a daemon but a name to him? he hasn't seen their devastation with his own eyes, can dismiss most of the predatory behavior as something else that's edged, something else humans have sometimes when they've lost something or gained too much of something else, can categorize his love of battle as necessary for survival -- ]

[even Velvet's hardly the worst person he's ever met]

good enough for me

[swordhardy]

( again, words that provoke old dull emotions, yet this time he's less vulnerable and unsuspecting. contrasting thoughts, the part of himself that wants to accept this, and the part that knows better. you're enough. he wants that to be true—but how can it be, when it feels like Guanshan hasn't accepted all his parts? those darker, selfish, and less reasonable ones? or is he, and is it just his own nature that makes him not believe it?

it doesn't matter. that's what he interperts the pang in his chest as before it fades, chiding himself for getting this twisted in the first place. what a pathetic reaction from a thing thats only use is fighting. )

Okay

[pushpin]

is it more comfortable for u to think u arent ?

[swordhardy]

I know I'm not, that's all.

1/2

[pushpin]

what about you is so

[...no, delete that]

[he knows, he just doesn't want to admit it]

[pushpin]

whatever u say

[swordhardy]

( he doesn't want to leave it on this note; not after something that was good last night, so even if the moment's past he fills in anyway— )

I was trying to say that I like making you feel that way, before. I haven't felt something like that in a long time.

[pushpin]

...

does makin me feel things make u feel things ?

[swordhardy]

( ok this takes maybe only like six minutes: )

... Yeah

1/2

[pushpin]

oh

[pushpin]

got some bad news for u then

[swordhardy]

???

[pushpin]

[ -- he actually laughs when he reads that message]

[figures it'd fly right over Rokurou's head]

u make me feel a lot
more than u know, probly

[swordhardy]

Really?

Like what?

[pushpin]

u sure u wanna know

[swordhardy]

Yeah

[pushpin]

awright
uh....

safe
warm
scared & nervous & that aint just the daemon thing
confused
like i belong or got worth or somethin
special
happy sometimes
sad too
a lil obsessive, a lil stupid
embarrassed but sometimes its in a good way
lonely, once in a while

[swordhardy]

( was expecting a sentence what is this )

... You really are a passionate guy

I like that about you

Even if I can't understand how I make you feel half of this -- it doesn't make me unhappy.

Lonely?

[pushpin]

[...relaxes, fingers going to a knot that's been forming on the back of his neck]

[he's harder to scare off than he seems, huh]

its just u bein u

um yea
sometimes i wish i was w/ u instead
or when im busy & just wanna do somethin stupid & easy
like distract u from meditatin

[maybe "lonely" is the wrong word, but he doesn't have another one for that kind of... yearning]

so i guess that means........ guilty too

[swordhardy]

Wanting to be with me makes you feel guilty?

Then come see me. I'd want to see you too.

[pushpin]

it aint that easy
i cant spend all my time w/ u, i gotta make money