swordhardy | NOCT OVERFLOW

[ it's rare that six is caught off guard by a sneaky move like this, but rokurou manages to pull a fast one on him, so before he knows it, the smooch is stolen and he is surrounded by sheets. ]

Wha—?!

[ excuse him while he tries to struggle, but it is hopeless. he is now a cocoon under rokurou's mercy. ]

What did you do that for...?

[ nevermind calling him cute, because no. ]

I don't know. You were being cute, so I couldn't help myself.

[ Smile crooking his lips, the daemon gazes down with eyebrows slightly pressed in and mismatched eyes lidded. An expression both affectionate and incredulous; he doesn't know how they've managed to get to this point, or how he could have been lucky enough to somehow earn the erune's loyalty, but... it doesn't feel bad. It doesn't feel bad at all. ]

Hey. [ a scarred palm rests against Six's cheek, ] Thank you. For being my friend, and for being ... you.

[ He might not fully understand how he feels about Six outside of wanting him to stay, but he does understand that they share an intimacy not easily found. He's only felt this way about one other person outside of his family—and what he feels toward his family hardly counts, too muddled with troubled complexities.

Around Six, opening up a little about some of his (many) flaws isn't so hard. Support isn't something he's ever needed, but strangely enough, those words solidify something inside of himself—another step toward overcoming them. ]

[ everything was going well— at least, that's how six felt. rokurou opened up to him by sharing a piece of himself that the erune never knew about before, and just for that, he feels so much closer to the daemon than he did a while ago. he would have been satisfied to leave things as they are, especially now that he's swaddled in between sheets and rokurou's arms, but then... ]

Friend?

[ when six looks up at him again, the lavender hues of his eyes hold a mixture of emotions: confusion, uncertainty, and a tiny sliver of heartache. has he misunderstood what they're supposed to be all this time? and while he knows he can't fault rokurou for it, because neither of them have bothered to put a name to how they feel towards each other, but this isn't exactly what he... expected. ]

Are we... just friends?

[ his mind thinks back to when rokurou asked him to leave a scar in the shape of his name. was that just supposed to be a sign of their friendship and nothing more—? ]

Huh?

[ If he expected anything, it isn't the way Six looks at him with reproach. Confused, Rokurou sits back, cocking his head with a startled blink. Less so at the question itself than the look in the erune's eye; it unsettles him and pauses his words, leaving him to mull on them for a moment longer than he normally might. ]

I ... [ reaching up, the daemon rubs his palm against the side of his neck, ] What? Do you think I hold hands with and kiss my friends? It's—more than that. But we are also friends, aren't we?

[ Though he's slowly realizing that they haven't established what the more than that even is. Partly because he hasn't wanted to, liking what they have without needing to pin it down. Ask him about swords and knives and battle strategy and he can talk from twelve different angles—this? He's more out of his depth than when he started confessing sins. ]

What do... what do you think we are?

[ Since he doesn't even know where to start, it's easier to toss it back on Six. ]

[ with the question thrown back at him, six has no idea what to say in response to it. it's something he's never put any serious thought into because neither he nor rokurou ever brought it up, content to let things be given that they're both happy with how things are. of course, that leads to issues such as the one they're facing right now.

where neither of them have any idea how to deal with this. ]

If you put it that way, then yes— we're friends.

[ but we're more than that too, aren't we? or so he would have said out loud, if he wasn't an idiot. ]

I thought we're something more...

[ he keeps drifting back to the scar he'd carved out on rokurou's blight, the one where he knows exactly where it is because that's where he's looking at right now. even if it's hidden underneath the daemon's clothes, he knows it's right there. permanent. ]

Eternal.

[ his face turns beet red when he realizes what he just said out loud, head shaking soon after. ]

... Forget I said anything.

Don't say that.

[ Always so quick to brush things under the rug. On instinct, he rubs over that spot straddling his blight that's barely hidden by t-shirt. The mark Six left on him—a still-healing scar, the very definition of eternal. Scars fade, but never really go away. The skin's never the same again. ]

Eternal ...

[ Rokurou mulls on the word, rolling it over his tongue like a new sake. Another thing that feels foreign despite knowing the meaning well—a resonant feeling that tightens in his chest. Which is why his fingers curl, tightening into a fist over that hidden mark. ]

I guess we do feel the same way. [ even if he doesn't know what to call it, ] I've always thought that you're someone that I want to keep. Everything is ephemeral, I've known that since I was young—but I don't want you to be.

[ He sighs, turning his eyes back onto Six. ]

That means something more, doesn't it? I don't have a name for it, but ... I'm not good at this.

And you think I am?

[ despite what he says, the expression on his face softens. it's not like he has any experience in this department, given how rare it is for him to form strong attachments. years of believing you weren't wanted can do damage to one's own self-worth, it's why his is fractured into several pieces, but after everything that went down with nehan, he's beginning to learn how to put it all back together.

it's a work-in-progress, just like his whole being is, but that doesn't mean he knows what he's doing. quite the opposite, really. ]

You're... you're the only one who has ever made me feel this way, so I have no idea what to call this.

[ if he were to give a name to how he felt, he wouldn't be able to pinpoint the correct one — only that he feels the same as rokurou, that the daemon is someone he'd like to keep. forever, if he's allowed to. ]

I simply know that it's important.

[ something he'd never want to lose. ]

[ The daemon's mouth twitches at the volley; they're really a couple of idiots when it comes to this, ahh? But they know enough to at least realize that it's important, a word that Rokurou nods his agreement to. ]

I feel the same. It's important—you're important.

[ An importance he's felt before but still finds confusion in. The desire to protect, the want to keep. Respecting Six's opinion, seeking his advice, wanting his company even if it's to sit in silence and do nothing. Pinning the erune down and asking him to move in had just been another means of keeping him close, selfishly wanting to know where he is and what he's doing.

The fact that he has felt something like this for someone else should make it easier to name but Rokurou's never been the quickest dog in the pack. Hesitation comes, too, just from knowing that normal is impossible. Because of where they are, because of what he is. Even other attachments, ones that he's selfish enough to not want to give up. ]

I don't know what to call it, but it's not just friendship. [ with a sigh, he reaches out to rest his hand over the erune's forehead, ] But I don't know if I have the answer tonight... is that okay?

Edited 2021-07-15 02:16 (UTC)

[ lavender eyes flutter shut when the daemon's calloused hand rests over the erune's forehead, remaining that way for the next little while as he contemplates what to say next. it's not the answer he was looking for, but at the same time, it's not like he has any idea what he actually wants to hear. so maybe it's fine if rokurou doesn't know right now, because he won't have a response ready for him either.

at least it looks like this is something they'll have to figure out together. ]

Mm... it's alright. It's not as though I plan on going anywhere, so as long as I can stay by your side...

[ that's more than enough for him.

falling silent, he turns his head to feel more of rokurou's touch, and he stays like that for a while until he guides the daemon's hand closer to his lips, to where he can press soft kisses against his palm. it's a gentle gesture, but it's one he hopes that can convey how he's feeling without saying much more. ]

[ Quieting, the demon nods, tracing the pad of his thumb along Six's bottom lip. As long as I can stay by your side. A sentiment that resonates with him—a daemon like Rokurou has no place to really belong, has no right to ask anything of anyone, and wouldn't even if he did. Too restless, too eager to fight and search for his own demise at the end of a stronger swordsman's blade, to much a wanderer without the rooting of his clan.

Yet the desire to stay around Six is strong. That he knows, that he understands, and he knows that, for him, it's noteworthy. ]

Yeah. [ as kisses tickle against his palm, Rokurou leans over, falling into the bed beside Six to bring them eye to eye. ] Like this.

[ The daemon smiles. It's a likewise gentle gentle that softens all the lines of his face into open affection—a feeling he allows to echo across Synchrony, stronger than most of his other emotions. ]

Hah... y'know, you didn't even like me at first. I had to chase you.

[ Chase feels like putting it lightly, considering all the legwork he really put in there ... Six had been adamant about keeping his distance for a while. ]

[ the open spark of honest affection coming from rokurou is almost overwhelming. synchrony adds a complex layer to a relationship that was already complicated enough. the red flush on his cheeks deepens a few more shades once they're eye to eye, because like this, there's no place for him to hide.

rokurou knows how to read him like an open book, but now synchrony makes it all the more obvious. ]

It wasn't like that at all. I...

[ back then, he didn't think he was worthy of anyone's time. someone so corrupted and dangerous doesn't deserve anyone's kindness, let alone someone who was so insistent on making sure he was never alone. he searches for the daemon's hand, intertwining their fingers together just for that constant form of contact. his heart feels so full that it almost seems like he'll burst at any moment.

(this is happiness, he thinks, a strange and unfamiliar emotion, given how rarely he allows himself to experience it.) ]

I don't know what you saw in me back then. It's not like... I'm anyone special.

It wasn't?

[ The daemon laughs as their hands meet with palm to palm and scar to scar. His gentle smile lingers as the erune articulates on; Rokurou gives their clasped fingers a reassuring squeeze on that detrimental last note. ]

Hmm ... isn't that up to someone else? [ namely: me. ] I think deciding you're special for yourself would make you a narcissist.

[ Head tilting, Rokurou makes himself comfortable beside the other man before taking the time to study his face. Mismatched eyes drag slow over reddened cheeks and beauty mark, flicking down to pretty cupid's bow and stubborn chin before he meets Six's eyes again.

I don't know what you saw in me back then.

Perfect form, powerful silhouette. A glint of silvery hair in lowlight. Strength, quick and fluid. And then all of that snapped with a single word. Fragility despite steel. Humanity cupped in monstrous hands.

What had he seen back then?

A beautiful contradiction. ]

I saw something I liked. [ he hums again, eyebrow hooking, ] So you did like me? I'm surprised.

[ i saw something i liked.

rokurou says that so easily, all without batting an eye. six wonders if he'll ever have the daemon's courage (and audacity) because he doesn't think he can ever reach the same level he's at. not that it matters, considering the daemon doesn't ask much of him, already pleased with just having all of six's attention and love when it's just the two of them.

the erune squeezes their linked hands in return, bring them closer so he can plant kisses everywhere, but mostly all over rokurou's knuckles. this is embarrassing for him to admit so he'd rather keep himself distracted somehow. ]

You caught my attention, if that counts. And you never let me forget that you existed.

[ persistence is simply one way to call it. (downright obsession is probably much closer.) ]

I don't really know when it was that I finally realized the feelings I had were much stronger than simple curiousity. Perhaps when I found you that one night, standing on the bridge...

[ he doesn't have to elaborate, right? rokurou knows exactly what instance he's talking about. it's the closest they ever got to admitting they want to remain by each other's side without a solid commitment, but it's vivid memory nonetheless, because rokurou allowed him to see the side of him that was exposed and vulnerable. ]

... Ah, yes. I remember that night.

[ One of his moments of reflection. Regret is a phantom that Rokurou refuses to accept, but often finds himself looking back at the past. At his choices. Where they lead. Moments where he could have done something differently, what he had missed and what it might have meant if he hadn't. To regret would make moving forward too difficult, and so he simply chooses not to—his choices are what they are, and he wouldn't change them. That doesn't stop him from, on a crisp night where the stars are clear in the sky, glancing back over his shoulder.

Running into Six that night had been unintentional. Reflection and isolation come hand in hand, and being found in that moment had struck something beneath his breast—a different chord that drew a different, seldom played note.

A breath heaves slow as Rokurou presses close, draping himself across Six. They've been together so many times that it's easy to lock in place, limb fitting into groove, coiling, bending, like lock and key. ]

When I first arrived here, I kept looking for you. I couldn't help it. [ smiling against Six's shoulder, ] You were never far from my thoughts.

[ And if Six hadn't arrived, he would be another facet of that quiet reflection on those clear, starry nights. ]

[ at this point, it feels like the two of them are two pieces in the same puzzle. their bodies fit into place as though they weren't meant for anyone else. six wraps his arms around rokurou and keeps him close, fingers carding through inky black hair in soothing motions. he can't tell if he's trying to make rokurou feel better or if it's the other way around. ]

... You kept looking for me?

[ somehow it makes his heart ache to find out that rokurou did the same as he did. once he woke up back home, that was the very first thing he did; he looked for the daemon as if there was a chance he would have wound up at the same place. it hurt more and more as the days went by, as the realization sunk in that it was impossible to begin with.

if he holds the other man tighter, it's because he doesn't want to lose him again. ]

I'm sorry I made you wait too long.

[ he plants a kiss on the top of rokurou's head, sealing the promise that he's here to stay for as long as he can. ]

[ —oh, that's nice.

A languid little groan escapes at the fingers carding through his hair, all crushed velvet and vibrato. Rokurou stills there, wanting the erune to continue kneading fingers against his scalp, as satisfied as a cat finally finding a good patch of sunlight. ]

It's alright. [ there are no more movements; comfortable, the daemon rests against Six, not wanting to shift. ] Everything comes to an end—I've known that since I was a child. I'm just happy that I got to see you again.

[ There are plenty of people who haven't had that privilege with someone they care for, after losing them. ]

I plan on taking as much of you while I can. [ he glances up from beneath his lashes and bangs, ] You alright with that?

[ the little noises that rokurou makes at least lets six know that he's doing the right thing, and so he keeps doing it, massaging the daemon's scalp mostly to get him to completely relax. he doesn't have anything to say when rokurou speaks about all things coming to an end, because even the erune understands that nothing is ever immortal.

(even though his heart wants what they have to become eternal, he cannot completely deny reality.)

his fingers stop what they're doing when a question is directed to him, an eyebrow raised. ]

Aren't you doing that already?

[ ever since rokurou first found him... their first night together here had been a repeat of their first time ever. ]

You can have all of me, if you wanted. I'm yours to take.

Are you kidding? I've always held back, at least a little bit.

[ Laughter falls gently, feathered into a soft exhale of pleasure from the deft fingers that move across his scalp—and then a little huff of annoyance when they pause. Hedonistic, the daemon wordlessly nudges his head up into Six's palm like a dog begging for more affection. ]

To keep you from running away for good. Like I said, I had to chase you.

[ You can have all of me, if you wanted. I'm yours to take. They're words Rokurou mulls over, quietly contemplating just why Six would allow him so much. No one is more aware of his shortcomings than himself. Selfish, stubborn, contrary. He may be rapacious and try to take take take take whatever he can get ... it still mystifies him whenever someone offers it willingly. When he doesn't have to struggle.

Not having to constantly wrench something out feels—strange. He spent a lifetime chasing after his brother, and now that same feeling comes, the one that bubbled in his chest upon the man's last breath.

Confusing, but not bad. The taste of winning. ]

Mn, should you really be so generous with a daemon? I'm greedy. I'll really take it all if you let me.

[ sometimes, six can't help but compare rokurou to a dog — a needy, affectionate dog that wants all of his attention. it's something that the erune has grown used to from being with the daemon, but it never fails to warm his heart whenever rokurou's actions remind him of such. he huffs in return and yet doesn't deny the daemon what he wants, resuming the gentle massage his fingers had been busy with earlier on.

is it really such a good idea to be so generous with a daemon? the question gives him pause, makes him consider what exactly he just offered for the other man to take. it's all of him, everything that makes six his very being — if rokurou wanted it, he's willing to give it to him. ]

... I meant what I said.

[ without a hint of hesitancy nor doubt. there's no taking it back. ]

I'm yours to take, if you wanted.

[ three simple words and it's still so difficult to say out loud, but even then, he knows rokurou will understand what he's trying to say. ]

You don't have to chase me anymore... I won't run away.

NOCT OVERFLOW

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