[ On both counts, in fact. Which is why Rokurou smiles, blowing on his own tea to help it cool some before he takes a slow sip. He might be a daemon, but he still doesn't want to chance burning his tongue. ]
Which is why I said to forget it. Anything I do feel anymore doesn't last very long anyway.
[ The perks of being a real monster. Everything fades, even sudden spikes of jealousy—there's no reason for Six to be concerned. Just a moment of stupidity; frankly, Rokurou's already almost to the point where he can laugh about being a little crazy for no reason. ]
it seems like this is going well... the conversation is well on its way to its conclusion, and yet rather than be relieved, six's ears flatten themselves against his head. he still feels like something isn't quite right.
he falls quiet as he tries to make sense of what he wants to say, but it takes him a while. too often he forgets that the world continues to turn even while he's caught up in his own head. ]
You say you don't feel nothing as a daemon, and yet you must have felt strongly about this... for it to be felt at all.
No, I'm glad you did. I'd rather know. Better to avoid anything awkward from happening.
[ Lest he do something reckless, like lay out naked like a french girl in Six's bed and wait for him to show up, not expecting anyone else to be coming in.
Reaching out, Rokurou rests his hand on top of Six's. He might feel little these days, but the airplaning of Six's ears is too honest about how this is bothering him. Yeesh... next time, keep your jealous, possessive, prey-driven fits to yourself, Rangetsu. ]
I used to be a pretty passionate guy, when I was human. Runs in the Rangetsu blood. Sometimes it just pops up.
[ the headpat does little to alleviate his concerns, but perhaps he is slowly considering maybe rokurou's words have some truth to them. that the man was jealous is still something he doesn't understand if only because he thinks there's nothing worth getting jealous over.
(why rokurou has chosen him to relentlessly pursue will always be a mystery.) ]
And you're certain it no longer bothers you? You aren't just saying this.
[ he's going to gently pry rokurou's hand off his head too. no need for it to linger where it's starting to feel warm. ]
[ Does it matter? It's really tempting to whip out one of Six's favorite phrase—hell, he almost does, but it's also confusing why Six seems so intent on dig, dig digging, when it would be so easy to just let this little thing go.
Pulling his hand back, Rokurou instead rubs his own chin, giving the erune a curious look. ]
[ the way he answers doesn't quite match how red he's become in the span of a split-second. it's true that he's worried but he doesn't necessarily understand the full scope of why he is. of course, given how things have been going for both of them in the past little while, it probably shouldn't surprise him all that much...
not that he wants to admit to that. ]
I simply wanted to understand. [ a beat, and then - ] Should you not be more worried about your curry?
[ That stupid, goofy smile that Rokurou's sporting right now? As he rests his chin on his hand and gazes at Six with lidded eyes? That's totally believing him. And not totally not believing him, because that blush speaks way more than his words do.
Except he doesn't believe him. And somehow it's that that actually makes him feel better, that strange, bubbling warmth swishing around in his chest. Pfff... really. Six doesn't need to worry so much over such a small thing, much less a daemon. ]
Mm... it might need a little water.
[ As he finally pushes up, still wearing that idiot smile, as he heads over to attend to the curry. ]
[ six makes the mistake of looking over at rokurou just as that stupid smile takes over his expression, making him heat up like the curry they're waiting for. he has so many protests formulating in his head but they all die before he could give voice to him.
all he could really do is open and close his mouth like an idiot before he finally shuts up. ]
... Looking at it like that isn't going to make it cook any faster.
You're pretty bossy for someone that isn't cooking.
[ It's getting pretty thick, so he adds a touch of water to loosen it up, and then gives a generous stir. Still needs a little more time, but it smells good—rich with spice and a hint of sweetness, aroma of chicken cooking in curry growing heavier.
Putting the lid back on to let it cook longer, Rokurou busies himself by washing some of the utensils from earlier. Better to keep his hands busy, or else he'll find himself putting them somewhere else, and probably spooking Six off in the process. ]
Shouldn't be much longer. I think it smells pretty good, no?
[ by the time rokurou turns around to face him, he'll see that the erune has taken it upon himself to wear his hood up. it doesn't quite hide how much his ears twitch in anticipation of the food he'll be able to tear into soon, but that's what he thought it would do anyway... oops.
he'll just do his best to act as nonchalant as possible... ]
I suppose we'll see if it tastes as good as it smells soon enough, won't we?
[ Jeez... not even a tiny compliment because it smells nice?? Six is a tough customer to please, as usual. Or maybe not—Rokurou's eyes flick to the way he's drawn his hood up, eyebrow arched, but he doesn't comment on it.
Instead, he finishes cleaning up, and once everything's wiped down and put away he pulls out two bowls, and begins padding rice into each. Each one gets a generous scoop of curry, a thick, golden pile over the rice, which he brings over to the table with chopsticks and spoons. ]
[ the hoodie doesn't do much when it comes to hiding his reactions. his ears twitch and flick underneath the fabric, making it more obvious that he's clearly enjoying the food just by the smell alone. even more so once he finally eats a spoonful once he's given the go-ahead. the spice level is just right, not too much, not too little, adding more depth to the curry in ways he didn't quite expect.
he's not going to say out loud that it's good because he doesn't want to feed rokurou's ego. it's already big enough as it is. for now, this is all he has to say: ]
[ Rokurou sneaks a peek between bites, looking up at Six eat from beneath his lashes. It's impossible to not notice how his ears keep twitching beneath his hood, fabric ruffling just a titch.
But he won't stare and make Six overly self-conscious. So he returns to his food, contenting himself with being hyper aware of Six's presence, rather than watching the way his ears move. ]
[ rokurou's right in assuming six was about to get overly self-conscious if he kept looking at him like this, because he's so very aware of those mismatched eyes on him. his ears twitch but his entire body is completely stiff, only visibly relaxing once the other has started eating too. ]
I don't need much— unless you are having seconds yourself.
[ please, he's already imposing by being here even though it was rokurou's idea to feed him. ]
Sure. I have a pretty good appetite, I'll have seconds.
[ As he continues, picking out a nice piece of chicken to munch on. Happy to just enjoy the moment and good food, with the heat of green tea to wash it all back. ]
You should take some back with you. As leftovers. Like I said, there's plenty.
I wouldn't mind taking some back, if you're offering.
[ at least this way, rokurou doesn't have to see him happily eat more of the curry!! then again he doesn't doubt the other will find a way to stalk him just to make sure he's even eating the food and not letting it go to waste. ]
But why did you make so much in the first place?
[ is he trying to fatten him up... is this his way of apologizing? ]
I see. Do you not have others you can also offer leftovers to?
[ surely he isn't the only one rokurou intends to feed, given how big the pot is. he busies himself with munching on another spoonful of curry while he waits for the answer, perking up as he bites into a nice piece of chicken.
this is so good... but he won't admit that out loud. ]
... If you give me two containers, perhaps the one staying with me would like to have some.
[ And he actually looks rather pleased about it, that easier smile returning as he continues to eat through his meal. Hey, if the man likes curry, it's the more the merrier. ]
Curry reheats well too, so I can always finish off whatever doesn't go.
[ Leaning forward, he takes his cup into his hands as he watches Six for a moment, ]
[ oh. rokurou barely reacted to it— or rather, he didn't react at all, which makes the erune think that perhaps the daemon was telling the truth. it's not a big deal to him anymore. this is good, then.
he allows himself to relax after that, taking another sip of tea before he answers. ]
Only out of necessity. I learned in order to survive during the years I've spent alone but otherwise...
[ he pauses. ]
I did make the cookies from before, if this is why you're asking.
[ They had looked homemade, though he hadn't questioned too much about it ... though now he thinks about Six baking. Which is .... cute. Very cute. Unexpected, but cute.
But it's really the beginning of that answer that he focuses on, tapping his fingers against the side of his tea mug. ]
Alone, huh...
[ Really, it's no wonder Six doesn't have favorites, from everything he's learned about the erune. ]
[ six tries to work out how rokurou went from point a - asking about whether or not he can cook - to point b, wondering if he knew when his birthday is. his head tilts because he can't make sense of the transition, and he supposes there's only one way to find out how they even got here. ]
... No. I've been met with disgust ever since I was born so I didn't know it was customary to celebrate one's birthday.
[ he puts his empty cup down. ]
Even if there was a date, it is long forgotten by now.
It's not customary to celebrate it in my clan, actually. But I've met a lot of people who do like to, especially around here.
[ In automatic response, Rokurou takes that empty cup and goes to refill it, continuing as he does, ]
You should pick one, if it's forgotten. You can't change the past, but the present and future don't have to follow it.
[ As he spoons matcha and fills it to near the edge with hot water, and then brings it back, setting it in front of Six. There's not much he can say to his having been rejected by his clan, no platitudes or soothing, because truth is truth. Painful it might be, fucked up or no, pretending like it hadn't happened or trying to soften an old blow isn't his style.
But forcing himself to look ahead? Yeah, that Rokurou can do. ]
And you have people now who do want to celebrate it.
The crew I'm with, we make a point to celebrate our Captain's birthday every year. It's one of the few traditions I try to follow dligently.
[ more than that, the captain's life is always worth celebrating. she's given so much to everyone around her that it's only right they come together to spoil her for one special day — and many other days, following that, because it's not like gratitude should be confined to just one day. ]
As for picking one for my own...
[ it isn't the first time someone has pointed that out to him, that despite the mistakes you've done in the past, it doesn't mean the present and future have to be dictated by it. there will always be the space to move forward, even for someone as wretched as he is, but his guilt and hatred are both so deeply ingrained within him that it's difficult concept for him to understand. it doesn't matter how many times he's been told the same thing. ]
I don't see a point to it. My life is hardly deserving of a celebration, even if others want to. That effort is better spent on someone whose existence is much more radiant than mine.
Mmm ... well, it's up to you. But, you know, I don't think you're allowed to decide how radiant you are.
[ Radiant ... that's definitely a word to define an existence. Rokurou's not even sure he agrees with it, particularly, when people come in so many different colors and forms. Darkness can be just as deep, alluring, and powerful as radiance. ]
I can just find another excuse to buy you some cake, anyway. I can cook, but I'm not so great with baking.
[ Cake for cookies, right? Even if he can't quite match up on the homemade part ... but then again, he does know someone that's an excellent cook all around. Maybe he can bribe a cake out of them. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordhardy) wrote2019-11-18 10:26 pm
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[ On both counts, in fact. Which is why Rokurou smiles, blowing on his own tea to help it cool some before he takes a slow sip. He might be a daemon, but he still doesn't want to chance burning his tongue. ]
Which is why I said to forget it. Anything I do feel anymore doesn't last very long anyway.
[ The perks of being a real monster. Everything fades, even sudden spikes of jealousy—there's no reason for Six to be concerned. Just a moment of stupidity; frankly, Rokurou's already almost to the point where he can laugh about being a little crazy for no reason. ]
Okay?
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it seems like this is going well... the conversation is well on its way to its conclusion, and yet rather than be relieved, six's ears flatten themselves against his head. he still feels like something isn't quite right.
he falls quiet as he tries to make sense of what he wants to say, but it takes him a while. too often he forgets that the world continues to turn even while he's caught up in his own head. ]
You say you don't feel nothing as a daemon, and yet you must have felt strongly about this... for it to be felt at all.
Should I have not said anything?
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[ Lest he do something reckless, like lay out naked like a french girl in Six's bed and wait for him to show up, not expecting anyone else to be coming in.
Reaching out, Rokurou rests his hand on top of Six's. He might feel little these days, but the airplaning of Six's ears is too honest about how this is bothering him. Yeesh... next time, keep your jealous, possessive, prey-driven fits to yourself, Rangetsu. ]
I used to be a pretty passionate guy, when I was human. Runs in the Rangetsu blood. Sometimes it just pops up.
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(why rokurou has chosen him to relentlessly pursue will always be a mystery.) ]
And you're certain it no longer bothers you? You aren't just saying this.
[ he's going to gently pry rokurou's hand off his head too. no need for it to linger where it's starting to feel warm. ]
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Pulling his hand back, Rokurou instead rubs his own chin, giving the erune a curious look. ]
Are you ... worried about me?
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[ the way he answers doesn't quite match how red he's become in the span of a split-second. it's true that he's worried but he doesn't necessarily understand the full scope of why he is. of course, given how things have been going for both of them in the past little while, it probably shouldn't surprise him all that much...
not that he wants to admit to that. ]
I simply wanted to understand. [ a beat, and then - ] Should you not be more worried about your curry?
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Except he doesn't believe him. And somehow it's that that actually makes him feel better, that strange, bubbling warmth swishing around in his chest. Pfff... really. Six doesn't need to worry so much over such a small thing, much less a daemon. ]
Mm... it might need a little water.
[ As he finally pushes up, still wearing that idiot smile, as he heads over to attend to the curry. ]
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all he could really do is open and close his mouth like an idiot before he finally shuts up. ]
... Looking at it like that isn't going to make it cook any faster.
[ he hates this. ]
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[ It's getting pretty thick, so he adds a touch of water to loosen it up, and then gives a generous stir. Still needs a little more time, but it smells good—rich with spice and a hint of sweetness, aroma of chicken cooking in curry growing heavier.
Putting the lid back on to let it cook longer, Rokurou busies himself by washing some of the utensils from earlier. Better to keep his hands busy, or else he'll find himself putting them somewhere else, and probably spooking Six off in the process. ]
Shouldn't be much longer. I think it smells pretty good, no?
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he'll just do his best to act as nonchalant as possible... ]
I suppose we'll see if it tastes as good as it smells soon enough, won't we?
[ stop looking at him like that. ]
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[ Jeez... not even a tiny compliment because it smells nice?? Six is a tough customer to please, as usual. Or maybe not—Rokurou's eyes flick to the way he's drawn his hood up, eyebrow arched, but he doesn't comment on it.
Instead, he finishes cleaning up, and once everything's wiped down and put away he pulls out two bowls, and begins padding rice into each. Each one gets a generous scoop of curry, a thick, golden pile over the rice, which he brings over to the table with chopsticks and spoons. ]
Dig in.
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he's not going to say out loud that it's good because he doesn't want to feed rokurou's ego. it's already big enough as it is. for now, this is all he has to say: ]
... Thank you for the food.
[ it'll be good enough for now. ]
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But he won't stare and make Six overly self-conscious. So he returns to his food, contenting himself with being hyper aware of Six's presence, rather than watching the way his ears move. ]
You're welcome.
[ Pausing to take a sip of tea, ]
There's plenty, if you want more.
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I don't need much— unless you are having seconds yourself.
[ please, he's already imposing by being here even though it was rokurou's idea to feed him. ]
They can be leftovers for tomorrow.
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[ As he continues, picking out a nice piece of chicken to munch on. Happy to just enjoy the moment and good food, with the heat of green tea to wash it all back. ]
You should take some back with you. As leftovers. Like I said, there's plenty.
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[ at least this way, rokurou doesn't have to see him happily eat more of the curry!! then again he doesn't doubt the other will find a way to stalk him just to make sure he's even eating the food and not letting it go to waste. ]
But why did you make so much in the first place?
[ is he trying to fatten him up... is this his way of apologizing? ]
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[ ... and he might be used to cooking for a group, often times only whipping out more than what he needs when it's for five or more. ]
So yeah, I'm offering.
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[ surely he isn't the only one rokurou intends to feed, given how big the pot is. he busies himself with munching on another spoonful of curry while he waits for the answer, perking up as he bites into a nice piece of chicken.
this is so good... but he won't admit that out loud. ]
... If you give me two containers, perhaps the one staying with me would like to have some.
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[ And he actually looks rather pleased about it, that easier smile returning as he continues to eat through his meal. Hey, if the man likes curry, it's the more the merrier. ]
Curry reheats well too, so I can always finish off whatever doesn't go.
[ Leaning forward, he takes his cup into his hands as he watches Six for a moment, ]
Do you cook?
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he allows himself to relax after that, taking another sip of tea before he answers. ]
Only out of necessity. I learned in order to survive during the years I've spent alone but otherwise...
[ he pauses. ]
I did make the cookies from before, if this is why you're asking.
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[ They had looked homemade, though he hadn't questioned too much about it ... though now he thinks about Six baking. Which is .... cute. Very cute. Unexpected, but cute.
But it's really the beginning of that answer that he focuses on, tapping his fingers against the side of his tea mug. ]
Alone, huh...
[ Really, it's no wonder Six doesn't have favorites, from everything he's learned about the erune. ]
Do you know when your birthday is?
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... No. I've been met with disgust ever since I was born so I didn't know it was customary to celebrate one's birthday.
[ he puts his empty cup down. ]
Even if there was a date, it is long forgotten by now.
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[ In automatic response, Rokurou takes that empty cup and goes to refill it, continuing as he does, ]
You should pick one, if it's forgotten. You can't change the past, but the present and future don't have to follow it.
[ As he spoons matcha and fills it to near the edge with hot water, and then brings it back, setting it in front of Six. There's not much he can say to his having been rejected by his clan, no platitudes or soothing, because truth is truth. Painful it might be, fucked up or no, pretending like it hadn't happened or trying to soften an old blow isn't his style.
But forcing himself to look ahead? Yeah, that Rokurou can do. ]
And you have people now who do want to celebrate it.
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[ more than that, the captain's life is always worth celebrating. she's given so much to everyone around her that it's only right they come together to spoil her for one special day — and many other days, following that, because it's not like gratitude should be confined to just one day. ]
As for picking one for my own...
[ it isn't the first time someone has pointed that out to him, that despite the mistakes you've done in the past, it doesn't mean the present and future have to be dictated by it. there will always be the space to move forward, even for someone as wretched as he is, but his guilt and hatred are both so deeply ingrained within him that it's difficult concept for him to understand. it doesn't matter how many times he's been told the same thing. ]
I don't see a point to it. My life is hardly deserving of a celebration, even if others want to. That effort is better spent on someone whose existence is much more radiant than mine.
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[ Radiant ... that's definitely a word to define an existence. Rokurou's not even sure he agrees with it, particularly, when people come in so many different colors and forms. Darkness can be just as deep, alluring, and powerful as radiance. ]
I can just find another excuse to buy you some cake, anyway. I can cook, but I'm not so great with baking.
[ Cake for cookies, right? Even if he can't quite match up on the homemade part ... but then again, he does know someone that's an excellent cook all around. Maybe he can bribe a cake out of them. ]
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